Trying to make sense of it all

All of us are happy to see an end to 2020, and I for one am hopeful for 2021, but it hasn’t started out well. I am angry, saddened, and shocked by what transpired on our Capitol last week. The more I see people hurting other people, what some extremist intended to do with bombs, weapons, and zip ties, sickens me. What are we doing?!? “We the people” are not “this” – we are the United States! We are the example of every nation on this earth to look to. We are BETTER! We must DO BETTER!

I don’t know how to make sense of what is happening. I can only hope that justice will happen to those who broke the law, damaged the Capitol, and hurt others people physically. There are consequences to our actions, and that starts at the top. No one is above the law.

What happened to the Golden Rule? Treat others as we want to be treated? We need to help one another, be kind every day, lend a helping hand when we can, and let service to others be our first action. We have experienced so much pain with Covid-19, let’s move forward in being healthy for 2021.

Let’s help spread love and kindness. Be mindful in the words we use, because our words matter. Let’s pray for others who are suffering or hurting. When I look at others, I remind myself how grateful I am for my life. I see the blessings I’ve received. I appreciate the people who made a difference in my life.

Bottom line….. I’m very grateful.

Much love and kindness,

D-

The year of Change

new beginningsI recently talked to a close friend of mine who has 50+ years of experience in research and teaching, who told me that ages 52 and 56 tend to be major years of change in a persons life. People sometimes refer to the MAJOR changes as a midlife crisis.

Well I’m 56 this year, and I am in the major shift of change. Not long ago I quit a job that I’d mastered all the things I did and more, but the owner lied to everyone, treated some people like they were not worthy of his time or effort, talk about everyone behind their backs, and I finally stood up and said “I’m not doing this anymore!” Period. End of story.

Now – I’m figuring out what I want the next chapter to be. One thing for sure, is I want to be happy whatever I’m doing. No more settling for just a good paycheck. Do you know how many times I’ve done that?! Ugh! And no more being inside a box that people make for me! I am going to live my life – according to me, no one else.

I’m single, kids are grown, and I want this next chapter to be the best one yet! Don’t get me wrong, I’ve accomplished some great things in my career that I’m very proud of! I worked hard to establish a successful career. Now, it’s more about being happy, giving back to others, traveling, and enjoying the beautiful outdoors while earning a happy living. I know things may look like I’m in crisis mode, but I’m not. I’m figuring out what makes me happy.

Life’s to short not to try a new chapter… one that is for me – with no one else dictating what they think I should and should not do. I am happy now that I’m free! Free to do what makes me soar!!!

Deanna (smiling)

 

What Makes You Happy?

Clipart Face with glassesHappy Friday! Isn’t it funny how everyone all over the globe are usually happy on Friday’s? I know some people who work weekends, so their Friday is on a different day, but most people work M-F; and therefore are thrilled when Friday finally arrives.

Even now as I write this, I’m happy it’s Friday and I’m not working. There’s something about having the “freedom” of the two days off to do whatever the heck we want without expectations, or commitments that we don’t choose to do. We have control of what we want to do!

If it weren’t raining – I’d be outside enjoying the springtime; walking, hiking, feeling the sun hit my skin and taking a deep sigh, feeling all is good in the world. During those time in nature, I feel joy and peace at the same time.

So what makes you Happy? Art? Nature? Photography? Music? Whatever it is, DO IT! I say DO IT now! Do what makes you feel joy and happiness as often as you can. Doing what makes you happy is a piece of heaven on earth!

Love,

Deanna xoxo

Lone Wolf

WolfGoing through a trauma, both physically and emotionally, changes you. How can it not change you when all the cells in your body absorb that trauma, and your brain can’t erase it either?

It’s hard for others to understand when I withdrawal from them because I’m feeling anxiety that overwhelms me to the point I need to be alone to feel safe. I had friends before my attack that want me to be the same old me, but I can’t be. I’m changed – sure I’m still the happy, positive person most of the time, but there are moments when I feel like a lone wolf that needs to escape the world and show self-care in being alone. I have learned meditation to help calm me, and taking long walks out in nature helps too. But I need to do it alone.

Does anyone else feel this way? Have you also experienced trauma of some kind?

I experienced someone I dated for a short period of time, who never showed me an ounce of violence, try to kill me in an instant. I remember in my mind saying “you can’t let him take you anywhere else because you will most certainly die there.” So I saw a moment where I could fight him when he least expected it, even though he had a knife on me. I won’t go into detail, but I was in for the “fight of my life” – for my life.

Good won that day – and I’m here because I didn’t freeze like a deer in the head lights, but it could have ended the other way as well. I’m currently writing the book to share about dating violence and how I survived.

But what I wanted to say in the being of this blog was – I’m changed because of trauma. I don’t apologize for the change, I embrace it for making me stronger! I’m grateful for every day I’m here!

We never know when we meet someone what they’ve been through. I know NO ONE would ever think I am a survivor of dating violence. But I do have moments when I need to be a lone wolf, and it have nothing to do with anyone else, but only to do with me healing myself. Please remember to show grace sometime to others even when you don’t understand.

Love,

Deanna

gotodeanna@gmail.com