I’ve had some hard lessons in seeing relationships as they truly are. Sometimes we can’t see clearly when we are emotionally involved. At some point, have any of your friends ever said to you, “Don’t you see he/she isn’t right for you? We all see it.” I know that when I was dating, I would tend to focus on their good qualities, and not pay much attention to the other stuff – like Red Flags! WRONG! You must open your eyes to see ALL of who they are. Right? Yes!
Seeing clearly is important because relationships are all about trust and respect as a foundation. If you aren’t open to see the relationship for what it truly is, than no matter what, it won’t work. It will fall apart at some point in time.
We date people to find out more about them, to see if we have things in common, and have values and beliefs that are similar. It’s a process of selecting the one that inspires a better you, and you inspiring them. You want to find someone kind, then you have to be kind too. That goes for all the qualities you are seeking in a partner.
The older I get, the more I see clearly. The best relationship I ever had, was someone that I was friends with for three years. We built a friendship as the foundation and we could talk about anything. We had chemistry but never acted upon it. We were best friends, could talk about anything from business, relationships, politics and all the little things in between. And most importantly, we could talk about anything free of judgement. We had respect and trust knowing we’d never use what we shared to hurt one another.
While our romantic relationship didn’t last, he is still to this day, one of my best friends. I think that speaks volumes to starting first as friends.
To save yourself time, make sure to keep what you are seeking in a long term partner written down, so can look at it periodically. People come and go in our lives, so please don’t trust someone right away with your personal things. Not everyone is real. Not everyone is trustworthy, and not everyone will value or respect you. Take time to become friends first. Don’t hop in bed when you certainly don’t know anything about them except for your attraction!
Friendship, communication, trust, and respect. Start with those qualities and build from there. Keep your eyes open and listen to your intuition. Dating is a process to find someone who we want to eventually fall in love with. It’s awesome when love can last either in a romantic relationship, or simply as friends. If you have BOTH, you have found a true treasure!!
Love You, Love Me