When your heart breaks and all you can do is cry. There is no stopping the tears from falling. Tears rolling down your face and you get consumed with your heart breaking that you begin to bawl out loud. Have you ever been there? I’m sure you have. Me too! I don’t think anyone can go through life without having their heart broke by someone.
Here’s my tips from my personal experiences.
1) Allow yourself to cry. Sometime I feel guilty when I cry, but I have come to realize this is part of the process of your body to let out the feelings you’re experiencing. If you don’t allow them to flow, you hold back and not feel right then, I can assure you that exact feeling you have suppressed will come back to you later when you least expect it. I can remember when I got divorced and the kids were still young. I didn’t want to let them see me upset or to feel my sorrow, so I suppressed it. I had to be strong for them and nothing was going to stop me from protecting my kids and their security. It was one year later almost to the day, that I got up one morning to get them dressed for daycare before I had to be at work when I started bawling uncontrollably. I don’t even remember what the trigger was. All I remember was that I couldn’t stop crying and dropped to the floor with heavy sobs. I got up and called my girlfriend to come help me. She rushed over, told the kids I wasn’t feeling well and took the kids to daycare for me. She took me to the doctor. It wasn’t until then that I began to grieve and heal from the divorce. My advice is allow yourself to cry – even if you have kids you can cry at night when they are sleeping.
2) Your Heart will get broken. It’s part of life especially if you put yourself out there to live life fully. People are human – they will hurt you whether it’s intentional or not intentional. Never close yourself off to life just because your heart has been hurt. That would be like locking yourself in a closet and never letting yourself out of the closet again. Can you imagine that? Maybe if you thought of the closet being locked you wouldn’t do that to yourself. People shut down and lock themselves in because they felt heart-break. DON’T!! That in itself would be a travesty. Your heart will mend, but it just won’t be the same. That person will always be in your heart.
3) Find the lesson. What is the lesson? There is a lesson for you to learn from every experience. You need to find out what it is. This is what makes you grow and become a better person. Everyone comes into our lives for a reason – for a blessing or a lesson. They can be both I suppose because somewhere along the way they were a blessing in your life, but now they are a lesson for you. You can’t move on until you find the real lesson. Be honest with yourself. Don’t throw blame or anger – look at it with open eyes. The answer will come to you.
4) Allow yourself time. I know first hand it takes time to mend your heart. For me, I love with all my heart. When I do fall – it’s deep. I need time alone to appreciate the good times, grieve the loss, and time to get my head and heart in sync. This doesn’t come easy by any means. Some people rush into another experience without allowing this healing to happen or for that matter, they don’t even look at the lesson they were suppose to learn. You will hurt the next person if you continue this pattern. Allow yourself time.
Your heart will be broken. It’s part of life. You are a gift to someone out there. They will treat you special and your heart will mend from the ones that weren’t meant to stay in your life.
Love & Light,