Huge Step

I took a huge step to stand up for what it right. I knew deep down I had to do this because I’d finally reached the limit of what I was willing to accept. My boss, a man I’d lost respect for shortly after starting working for him 1 year ago, was no a good man, and certainly not a good leader/manager. He is the one that owns the company, so he believes he can say or do whatever he chooses without any consequences. He talks about other employees behind their backs to me, and not in a good way. I feel so bad for those who work their butts off, and he doesn’t think highly of them or what they do for him.

Most people who leave jobs leave them because of poor managers, not because they don’t like what they are doing. I strongly believe that.

When I walked into my workplace to turn in my key, I was shaking inside and out. I received a text from him a few minutes before pulling in the parking lot. I replied back as my hands shook and said “I can’t work for a man who lies to me continuedly. I left my key at the front desk. Don’t ever call me or text me for any reason at all.”

What a HUGE step and while I faced my fear, I can tell you it took everything I had to quit and say something true, and not play nice and polite.

What a huge weight lifted. I feel so much better. I am looking for a job now, but I am happier than I have been in a year. It was a toxic place to work. Never again!

Thank you – I am grateful.

Deanna

xoxo

Being Honest

Let me get honest with myself for a minute. I need to figure out why I stopped caring about myself, my health, my appearance, so I don’t repeat this again.  Right?

Self reflecting is a good thing, necessary at times to improve yourself.  “Why” did I allow myself to gain this weight?  First answer that came to mind when I asked this question out loud was a life changing event in 2000. When I say a “life event” those are times where our lives “change” and will never be the same from that moment on. Life events tend to be, for example, having a child, a parent dying, finding out you have cancer, etc. Those are life events.

I dramatically changed my life the end of 1999, quit my wonderful job at the University, sold my cute house on the pond, and moved to Indiana for love that didn’t last a year! I take ownership of this decision because at the time, oh goodness I thought it was a good decision, and he “loved” me. Dating long distance and for only six months, was not rational, and anyone can be what they want you to see for six months. But on the other hand, I truly believe everything happens for a reason! There are positives over the years that have come from me moving to Indiana. But this is where I stopped caring. I know in my heart this is where I changed.

It hurt me deeper than I thought. This failure was huge! My lack of judgement for this man, imprinted more on the inside. I cried for months when I left, poured myself in my work, even took up candle making to occupy my free time so I wouldn’t think about him and cry.

Heartbreak – It ran deep! After all these years, it all comes down to heartbreak? Wow. Now I begin the journey of healing myself, caring, and getting where I need to be. Day 2.

What a breakthrough! I feel FREE

Love – Deanna